Today, destiny arrived.
While others preparing for gmax Meowth, the universe placed a 10 CP Bidoof at my feet. Not 11. Not 12. Ten. Perfect. Untouched by ambition. Uncorrupted by power.
I have purified shadows in moments of weakness to chase the 4*. I have built spreadsheets to justify bad decisions. But this… this is different. This is my magnum opus.
The plan is simple:
-Best Buddy
-Walked across continents
-Fed only the finest Golden Razz Berries and Poffins.
-Powered up all the way to Level 50
-Never evolved, because we respect divinity in its based form
People ask, “Why invest that much dust?”
To which I say: why build cathedrals? Why climb mountains? Why did humanity invent the remote raid pass?
Because greatness demands sacrifice.
I’ve already started preparing my resources. I sold a kidney (non-essential). I explained to my family that we will not be eating this winter (essential). My raid group has agreed to refer to me only as “The Doofkeeper.”
If you see me in a gym, please understand: it is not a flex. It is a public service.
Wish me strength. The pilgrimage has begun.
And when the work is complete, when the stardust has settled and the pilgrimage fulfilled, I will do what must be done.
I will send him to the Professor.
Because he deserves the very best.
All hail the Doof.
by askdoctorjake