Reviewing Every Switch Game I’ve Ever Played (Part 3)

[Part 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/NintendoSwitch/comments/ysek5l/reviewing_every_switch_game_ive_ever_played_part_2/)

The penultimate part of my series of unsolicited opinions on all the Switch games I’ve ever played. If you’re looking for a good recommendation, or you just like reading reviews, you’ve come to the right place!

The last part will be a list of games I’ve played that have been ported to the Switch, just to be thorough.

**Ratings**

For reference, the scale looks something like this:

**4 –** A personal favourite

**3 –** Good

**2 –** Good, but not for me

**1 –** Awful

***Spoiler-free btw***

54. Xenoblade Chronicles 3 (**2**)

Xenoblade Chronicles 3 is probably the worst of the three Xenoblade games (I haven’t played 2). The class system is interesting, but ultimately fails because it doesn’t reward experimentation. Switching classes weakens your characters until you grind their class level back up, a tedious process involving almost as much menu management as boring, repetitive enemy encounters. The story reaches an emotional climax about two-thirds of the way through which I feel isn’t matched by the anticlimactic, unexplained and generally unearned ending. To get the most out of the story’s conclusion, you have to play the previous two 100+ hour games. If you’re not down for that, just take a moment to appreciate the [outstanding music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2r2MYvoM7k) and move on.

55. Kirby and the Forgotten Land (**3**)

The improvement between this Kirby game and HAL’s last is massive: it feels like Kirby was always meant to be a 3D platformer. Levels are unswervingly creative, each riffing off a unique post-apocalyptic theme that the game absolutely nails (think Shiver Star from Kirby 64). While Forgotten Land offers a lot of fresh gameplay, none of it is very difficult — even the post-game boss rush is a spring breeze. The game is also stingy about disclosing per-level optional challenges, an annoying design decision that practically mandates replaying a single level multiple times for 100%. Speaking of, star coin grinding is unavoidable if you’re going for full completion: dull, but totally optional.

56. The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening (**4**)

Link’s Awakening has the strongest story in the series (bar Majora’s Mask) and should be experienced blind. Awakening’s understated plot is simple, strange, and profound. This remake features heavily improved graphics and an absolutely [stunning revamped soundtrack](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EVhFI_y_9w). Gameplay- and design-wise, however, this is still a cryptic game from 1993. I often got stuck despite the surprisingly not-overbearing hint system. The dungeon builder is awful, but the game locks many important collectibles behind it.

Note: Now that you can play the original version of this game through Switch Online (Includes New Secret Dungeon!), I don’t think there’s much reason to buy it.

57. Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch (**2**)

Ni No Kuni combines Dragon Quest with Pokémon. You’ll run around a painfully generic fantasy world recruiting monsters to defend you against scarier monsters, levelling and gearing up in the process. Ni No Kuni has an awful real-time battle system where you must manually select “Defend” if you don’t want to get literally one-shot by bosses. The final boss is particularly awful about this since he has an attack that destroys your entire party in like two seconds and forces you to replay its first two phases. Ni No Kuni will occasionally treat you to an exceptional animated cutscene from Studio Ghibli — frankly, if the game were not so visually charming, I would’ve given it a 1.

58. Bayonetta 3 (**3**)

Bayonetta 3 is a bit of a mixed bag and you need to know what you’re getting into before picking this one up. 3’s combat is the best in the trilogy — unfortunately, combat comprised only 50% of my playtime, being generous. The rest of my time was split between exploring the game’s huge, visually repetitive levels, watching cutscenes, and playing lame mandatory mini-games. The story spreads out over about 4 hours of cinematics and is a bit of a mess. It has ~~the worst~~ ~~the best~~ the worst ending I’ve ever seen.

59. Guacamelee 2 (**3**)

Guacamelee 2 is virtually the same game as its predecessor, with almost no improvements. As far as indie metroidvanias go, Guacamelee has always been more unique than its near-substitutes — so a lack of originality isn’t a demerit for its sequel. Great platforming, great combat, charming visuals, nifty design (refer to the first review).

60. Exit the Gungeon (**2**)

Enter the Gungeon’s follow-up keeps all the original’s charm but plays more like an arcade game than a roguelike. Exit’s randomized gun system solves probably the biggest problem with its predecessor; you’ll never abuse a run-trivializing gun because the game shuffles your loadout every 30 seconds or so based on how well you’re playing. Nonetheless Enter is still the best entry point into the Gungeon series. It’s a much more complex and content-packed game. Exit is fun in short bursts, but lacks the depth of the first game.

61. Pikmin 3 Deluxe (**3**)

In Pikmin 3, you command an army of 100 little idiots that don’t know shit and never do what you want them to. Your Pikmin will dive into water and drown, they will sprint directly into traps, they will pick things up and run away, before they bumble into doing something actually helpful. Thankfully, Pikmin 3 is an extremely easy game. I suppose the devs figured that directing your lemming brigade is hard enough without having to manage 3 different leaders at once and large, objective-crammed maps. You’ll never see the “game over” screen in this game because you’ll never run out of in-game days; you’ll never run out of Pikmin because each defeated enemy adds like 10 more to your reserves.

62. Fez (**3**)

Fez is a puzzle platformer with a twist: the protagonist, Gomez, can only move in 2D space, but all the levels are actually 3D dioramas. You can rotate the level whenever you want to collect all the golden doo-dads and beat the game. I often discovered the solution for many of Fez’s puzzles accidentally by randomly rotating about. Getting to the game’s first ending isn’t hard — but that’s when the game gets crazy. You will need a pen and paper for this one. I strongly encourage you to get as many anti-cubes as you can before you look some things up (and you will have to look some of these up).

63. Owlboy (**3**)

This gorgeous story-driven indie game is structured kind of like Zelda but you would never be able to tell because the gameplay and concept are so novel. Your character, Otis, can’t do much to defend himself: he airlifts companions who blast enemies for him. Even while Otis is carrying someone, he can fly wherever he likes. Thanks to rapid-fire ally switching and generous teleportation, Owlboy’s unique gameplay never becomes cumbersome. However, Owlboy doesn’t have many dungeons and those dungeons are not as long as I would like. Though this is a short game, the rewards for 100% completion are underwhelming given how tedious it is to backtrack for *every* single coin (there are hundreds of them in *each* level).

64. Dandara: Trials of Fear Edition (**3**)

Believe me: Dandara is a *unique* metroidvania, even among all the metroidvanias I’ve played. I don’t have the words to describe how it plays; it doesn’t cleanly fit into any genre. You can’t walk or run in this game, for instance. You dodge bullets by jumping from the walls to the ceiling to the floor and back to the ceiling again like you’re Spiderman getting yanked about by an invisible string. The story is a thinly-veiled political allegory; it covers territory most games wouldn’t even though the message is totally uncontroversial (fascism bad). I like this game a lot, but its idiosyncrasies keep it away from my personal favourites.

65. Bayonetta 2 (**3**)

The best of the three Bayonetta games. Damage is toned way down in this one compared to the first game, but that leaves the player more time to do combos, which are generally faster. 2 manages to look better than 3, despite the inferior hardware it was first released on.

66. Disco Elysium: The Final Cut (**4**)

The second-best game I played last year (after Elden Ring). Disco Elysium is advertised as an open-world RPG, which it is not. It’s actually a point-and-click adventure game with a radically open design. In other words, it’s less Elden Ring, more Monkey Island. If you go into this game with those expectations, you will not be disappointed by its excellent writing and creative visuals. Disco Elysium is linear, but you have leverage to affect your character: depending on the stats you level and the choices you make, your character will notice, think, and do things he otherwise wouldn’t. This title is more like a great book than a video game, honestly; but it actually uses the fact that it’s a video game (rather than a book or movie) to tell its story uniquely. Other games do this too (Spiritfarer, Celeste), but none as well as this game. Oh yeah, don’t play this on the Switch unless you really, *really* want the portability. It runs horribly, crashes often, and is way more expensive.

67. Chicory: A Colorful Tale (**2**)

Chicory is a Zelda-like that revolves around a magical paintbrush that you can use whenever and however you’d like. The world is like a giant colouring book and I think a lot of players would have fun decorating every screen on the map. I’m not one of those players, however, and the Zelda-like elements offer little challenge. Still, given how charming the whole thing is, and with [Lena Raine working the soundtrack](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cAvFUzNgHr8), Chicory was still worth it. The game kept insisting that every ungodly abomination I drew was good in its own way.

68. Bastion (**2**)

I’m told Bastion was a very important Indie game when it released, and it’s made by the same team behind Hades. But is it worth playing today? As someone not fond of Hades’ gameplay, I would say no. Bastion has the same problems as Hades: spongy enemies and a lack of enemy variety. Combine that with same-y levels and a wholly unimpressive story, and you’ve got a bit of a dud. Though I must admit the way Bastion’s levels assemble themselves as you move through them is pretty cool, and there’s that superb, gameplay-responsive voice-acting that eventually made its way into Hades.

69. Blaster Master Zero 3 (**2**)

This game is the disappointing finale to a generally disappointing series of retro metroidvanias. But I’m extra disappointed by this one because it seemed like the series was going places with the second entry — this game doesn’t innovate much, and where it does make a new design decision it usually worsens the experience. The excessive, boring backtracking present in the first game returns here, despite the new fast travel system. The tankless sections are still awful. To the game’s credit, the final boss gauntlet is actually pretty good, but definitely not worth suffering through the rest of this game.

70. forma.8 (**3**)

forma.8 is this short Indie metroidvania where you control a floating mechanical ball on a post-apocalyptic alien world. You have the ability to fly from the start, and your little robot has a hefty, weighty feel to its movement: it takes a while to reverse momentum, so you’ll constantly crash into walls and objects. In terms of creativity, this game gets full marks. Some of forma.8’s powerups surprised me in a good way. It’s a very darkly lit game — there’s an emphasis on light, both in this game’s world and in some of its puzzles. Unfortunately, this gem is plagued by tedious backtracking, made worse because your character moves so slowly.

71. Downwell (**3**)

Downwell is this dapper little roguelike about falling down a well. While it lacks the incredible item pools of your average Gungeon or Dead Cells, Downwell more than makes up for it in the depth of its gameplay (pardon the pun). The game rewards you for chain-stomping enemies with health upgrades and money — nothing feels better than cashing in on a 20-enemy long streak. Your gunboots slow your descent and blast enemies but have limited ammo and can only be refilled by touching the ground (which ends your combo) or by stomping an enemy (which does not).

72. Blaster Master Zero 2 (**2**)

If you’re absolutely fiending for a metroidvania and have run through every single notable one on the Switch, then and only then would I recommend Blaster Master Zero 2. It’s the best of the Zero trilogy because of its unique planet-hopping structure, which tows the line between metroidvania and linear action game better than its siblings. Backtracking is kept to a minimum in this entry, but Inti never did find a way to make the grounded tankless sections interesting or challenging.

73. Hotline Miami Collection (**4**)

In Hotline Miami, you play as a ruthless murderer on a bender. The story doesn’t make sense but it doesn’t have to — you’re not playing as someone with a good handle on reality — the screen permanently sways as you kill a whole city block’s worth of mafia goons in seconds, leaving pools of blood and gore and dismembered limbs behind. And it’s fun, you’re having fun the whole time, never mind the creepy handlers or that sinking feeling that your time will soon be cut short. This game is the darkest and the craziest and the most unhinged and the most violent thing I’ve ever played. It runs perfectly well on the Switch, but if you’re interested in this extremely mature title you’d be better off on PC, where you won’t have to rely on aim assist as much.

74. Blaster Master Zero (**1**)

Too many poor design decisions plague this metroidvania for me to recommend it to anyone. There is an unacceptable amount of backtracking and NO fast travel system. Blaster Master splits itself pretty cleanly into tank segments, which play like a traditional 2D Metroid game, and grounded top-down tankless segments, which are horrendously boring and trivially easy. You will naturally want to avoid the latter. Knowing this, the developers peppered their game with pointless dead-end tankless segments that you have to meticulously check to find the next upgrade, then make the laborious walk back to your tank to move on to the next tedious map. And for what? Another mediocre boss? The sparse narrative? MORE backtracking? Don’t bother with this.

75. SteamWorld Dig 2 (**2**)

Dig 2 is a bizarre hybrid of genres disguised as a metroidvania. It doesn’t do anything particularly well, but passes muster because it’s very creative. The goal of the game is to tunnel through a grid-based underground labyrinth while collecting gems and movement upgrades along the way. You can only spend so long underground before you run out of light or storage space or health; you have to return to the surface to refill. You can buy permanent upgrades to said light, storage and health reserves with the money you collect on each trip down. This gameplay loop, while fun and interesting, is not really conducive to exploration or combat, both of which feel kind of forced.

76. Shantae and the Pirate’s Curse (**2**)

I’m very lukewarm about Shantae. Unlike with Bayonetta, I can’t throw up my hands and go “the gameplay’s really good” when someone catches me playing one of her games. Nah, the gameplay’s just ok. Pirate’s Curse is one of those games that can’t decide if it wants to be a metroidvania or a level-based action platformer — it’s got maps and backtracking but the world’s laid out flatter than an ironing board. Like Blaster Master Zero 2, this game is very much improved by trimming the fat from previous games, also there’s a similarly unique level select screen where every area is a different island.

77. Mutant Mudds Collection (**1**)

I am expecting zero pushback for this opinion: Mutant Mudds sucks. It’s by far the worst game I’ve played on my Switch. You know how Shovel Knight ripped off only the best parts from classic NES games? Well, Mutant Mudds is Ying to Shovel Knight’s Yang. Yes, it’s hard, but not in a good way. Your character moves like a line at the DMV and has the air control of a sack of bricks. As in, when you fall from anywhere, you can barely control your character, unless you hover with the lame one-time-use jetpack. Yes, it’s bound to the same key as the jump button. No, you can’t change this. Yes, a good 60% of this game’s “challenge” comes from pressing this button at exaaactly the right time. It’s very apt that this game has “mud” in the title (‘cuz it’s crap).

78. TETRIS 99 (**4**)

It’s the best puzzle game of all time, it’s a battle royale game, and it’s free. You should already have this.

79. Portal 2 (**3**)

By all accounts both this game and its predecessor deserve a 4, and consarnit I would have given it to ’em if not for the fact that every single story beat in the Portal games had been spoiled for me by the internet (aka, you guys). Portal 2’s a modern classic and I have very little criticisms for it, none of which are bad enough for me to give it anything less than a glowing recommendation. It’s a masterful puzzle game with great writing and like 2 annoying levels.

80. Nintendo Entertainment System (Switch Online)

a. Super Mario Bros. (**2**)

It’s probably the most important video game ever made and definitely belongs in a museum, but, much like a classic book, it’s not that fun to go through. Mario has the least air drift in the series and just like magnetically snaps to the ground whenever he jumps. Graphically, you’ve experienced everything SMB has to offer after you’re through World 1. And when you lose all your lives (and you will, because this game’s rough), you’re forced to replay the entire World.

b. Super Mario Bros. 3 (**3**)

Now here’s a less important game that actually holds up extremely well: SMB3 is the best game on the NES. It’s the only one I’ve played without any odd, outdated design quirks. Mario’s momentum feels just right, and the game manages an impressive variety of levels and mechanics for the hardware. The difficulty, unlike most NES games, is actually reasonable too, so you won’t even have to use the rewind feature to have a good time.

c. Kirby’s Adventure (**4**)

I am morally required to disclose that Kirby’s Adventure is essentially a palette swap of the first game I’d ever played and can do no wrong in my eyes. Even through my nostalgia glasses, though, I can tell that this version suffers from severe performance issues and extremely noticeable lag. I also don’t like how sluggish Kirby feels while floating; unlike in the GBA release you have to hold up to do it, which naturally leads to a lot of misinputs. I couldn’t tell you if this game is actually designed well if I wrote my thesis on it, but I know [a great soundtrack](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Di09yapYBuY) when I hear one, and it introduced a lot of what would become standard in every Kirby game.

81. A Short Hike (**4**)

A Short Hike is a video game that tries its best not to be a video game: there’s no way to “beat” it, no real score system, and no challenge. Usually this would be an issue for me because I think difficulty is fun, but I’m happy to report that this game adjusted my view somewhat. Charming, pretty, and, well, short, A Short Hike is therapy for perfectionists like me who feel like they have to complete games even past the point where it stops being fun. The game will constantly remind you of the pointlessness of its timed challenges and collectibles: like the kids playing stickball on the beach, your job isn’t to hit some arbitrary number or check off a box on some arbitrary checklist — you’re here to relax and have fun.

82. Shantae: Risky’s Revenge – Director’s Cut (**1**)

Shantae? More like shan’t-play (drum sting). Every nitpick I’ve ever levied against a metroidvania applies to this one: linear level design? Check. Boring bosses and enemy design? Check. Backtracking? Oh, double check with sprinkles on top this game has some godawful backtracking. No joke, it would take less than two hours to beat if WayForward took out all the boring fetch quests — if not for the existence of Mutant Mudds, this would be the worst game I’ve played.

83. SteamWorld Dig (**2**)

Dig’s prequel isn’t a metroidvania, or even a fully-formed game, I think. The original gameplay loop, where you dig for treasure and return to the surface for upgrades, is there — but that’s about it. Besides an extremely ill-advised final boss (the combat’s mid) and some achievements, there’s not much here.

84. Portal (**3**)

I think the greatest praise I can give Portal is that its excellent sequel doesn’t completely outclass it: the game’s very much worth playing today. Portal starts with an all-time great core mechanic in the eponymous portal gun, and never runs out of cool ideas. Does anyone really need me to explain why this game is good?

85. Ikaruga (**3**)

Technically, I haven’t beaten Ikaruga, a brutal classic shoot-em-up and probably the hardest game I’ve got in my library. I can only complete Ikaruga in free play mode, with infinite lives — a little more than 3, as God intended. There’s two layers of challenge to it: the first is that you have to tiptoe around the million bullets in your face, the second is that you have to do this while reversing the polarity of your ship to absorb one type of bullet. Both components are hard, but put them together and you get this intense cerebral experience that feels equal parts puzzle game and action game. [Then the music kicks in](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fAn6XxsDDTI).

86. Wizard of Legend (**2**)

In Wizard of Legend, you’re a wizard-in-training that has to clear three randomly-generated levels using your vast arsenal of elemental spells. There are so many spells and most of them are very cool, but because of some questionable design decisions, you’ll probably never take advantage of the full range of builds available. There are 5 elements, and each focusses on one specific type of damage: Lightning spells usually hit many times, so they’re best for crit builds, for example. This sounds great until you start optimizing — then you’ll naturally get funneled into building around one element, and usually around a specific set of “good” spells for that element. This remains a problem even when you turn on the spell-randomizer mode. The gameplay doesn’t have a lot of depth — there is a cool Hyper Light Drifter-esque dash mechanic but you either stunlock enemies to death or they stunlock you — so the lack of build variety turns out to be a dealbreaker.

87. Super Meat Boy (**3**)

Super Meat Boy is an insanely difficult platformer with crude humour and a lot of frustrating design quirks. The controls are overall pretty good but Meat Boy stubbornly sticks to walls whenever you remotely graze them, and there are a lot of finnicky wind-based hazards. The frustration’s mitigated somewhat by really quick levels and even quicker respawn times, which, as we all know after playing Celeste, is a really good formula for making these super-hard platforming games approachable and fun.

88. Yoku’s Island Express (**3**)

I was always saying they should make a pinball metroidvania, and now here it is. Yoku’s Island Express is a cute little hidden gem about a dung beetle mailman and his quest to earn the illustrious grand postmaster’s badge (and also save his island home or whatever). Pinball meshes surprisingly well with the metroidvania format: the latter’s usually full of traversal power-ups anyways, which can only make the former more interesting. The game looks great, too, like a slightly less high-def version of Ori. Pick this one up if you’re at all curious — it’s usually on sale.

89. Game Boy (Switch Online)

a. Kirby’s Dream Land (**2**)

Charming, but a bit of an artifact. The first Kirby entry doesn’t have any copy abilities, which forces you to focus on the admittedly compelling sucking-and-spitting gameplay. Unfortunately, this game lags and has that annoying control quirk where you need to hold up to float. Otherwise, very cool, very short game.

b. Tetris (**4**)

I will never object to another Tetris, the most elegantly designed puzzle game of all time. This version misses some of the modern innovations to the formula: the original Gameboy just couldn’t handle the “hold” mechanic, t-spins, or block placement visualization. I didn’t realize how much I relied on the little grace period later games give you before your drop is finalized until it was gone. New tetrominos don’t spawn above the board like they do in later iterations, reducing the amount of room you have to work with. But this edition makes up for all that by being retro, I suppose.

c. The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening DX (**4**)

I prefer this version over its remake. DX is less showy but it’s more precise. It trims out a lot of padding: there are less heart pieces, secret seashells, and awful bonus dungeon-building modes. Sword swings work differently; they’re less powerful because the arc is reduced by half and there’s some weird blind spots when you’re trying to hit an enemy diagonally. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, though, as Link’s nerfed sword — along with the enemies’ higher damage and your reduced health — bring some much-needed challenge. I’m not sure about this, but I think NPC dialogue has been reduced to accommodate the small text boxes on the Gameboy. I may have just noticed the strong writing more this time around.

d. Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins (**3**)

I had no idea this game was as wild and creative as it is, and I love it. So many unique levels: you got the submarine level, the haunted Japanese plain level, Mario’s balls (if you know, you know). If U had even half of this game’s originality, I would rank it above World as the best 2D Mario. Unfortunately, this game has pretty wonky physics: when you’re not running, Mario’s jump feels pretty gimped, but sometimes the game will give you a scant 1-block running start over wide pits.

And finally, because I didn’t play it when I wrote Part 1:

Super Nintendo Entertainment System (Switch Online)

Donkey Kong Country: Diddy’s Kong Quest (**3**)

I’ve come around on the classic DKC games after playing through this one. I can’t say I like every level in this game, but every single level brings a new idea — much like the first game — but there are more of them and ideas seldom get recycled. There’s a noticeable jump in quality between this game and the last: collectibles are well-hidden and actually count for something, the worlds are less generic, there’s this whole secret bonus world I haven’t completed yet. I found myself relying on the rewind feature for the game’s later levels, even though I tried not to use it. The soundtrack’s [better than the first game](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lndBgOrTWxo).

[Part 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/NintendoSwitch/comments/116roiv/reviewing_every_switch_game_ive_ever_played_part_4/)

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